Sunday, July 25, 2010

She cries.......

We made it home today. It was very hard to leave. We told Kjerstin to make sure that she keeps working hard during her therapy sessions. You could tell she was sad we were leaving. We promised we would be back next weekend. I have to work Saturday, but Colten and I will go back Saturday night and Sunday. Jerimiah & Steph will be there all weekend. I can't wait to see what progress she makes this week.

She cried again today. We were outside and she was visiting with Jocelyn and her family and Bella, Mom's dog, when tears started rolling down her face. She was tired but she is also starting to process through everything that has happened and it is hard for her. She can't tell us what she is thinking and I'm sure that is even harder. We tried to reassure her, but I sure wish she could talk to us so we could help her through the thoughts running through her head. We will get there. while it's hard to see her cry, it's also joyous. This means that she is progressing and we have moved to a new stage in recovery. It also means that her brain is healing. Keep praying for peace for Kjerstin.

I just wish I could make this all go away for her. That we could get rid of that wheelchair and go out to eat and get our nails done and talk and make jokes and laugh. When you go anywhere during the day, you see people doing things. Normal things. Things we used to do. But now we can't. We can't go to dinner or Wal-Mart or the mall. We can't walk to get the mail. It's hard to see other people doing these things. Mom cries nearly every time we go somewhere and it's hard for Dad too. I keep pushing Mom & making her go. Sometimes she argues, but of course she never wins! This is me she is talking to! The only one who has not listened to me is Kjerstin. Imagine that! She is listening intently to me now. Seems kinda weird, but nice all at the same time.

I told her that one day soon she will get to dance again and sing with the music turned up too loud. We will go on another road trip and this time my tail bone won't be broken so she won't have to help pull me out of the car the whole trip. (That was the only time that it was nice that my lil' sis was taller and stronger than me!) Hopefully mom won't walk in pee again. Kjerstin smiled when I told her that part! I told her she will get her chance to go to college and get married and have kids and do all the things she ever dreamed of. She looked at me a little unsure. (The eyes really are a window to our soul!) I told her that she will, she just needs to keep working hard & not give up. Not ever! She will go on to do great things! I reminded her what a friend said to me this weekend: God is giving her a second chance. He's not done with her yet! He has a plan and she will go on to do mighty things!

We did have a great time talking and joking. It is so AMAZING to see her smile! Today Jerimiah and I had a marker fight at the end of her bed. She smiled and laughed and made noises at us. Of course I lost and ended up with marker all over my face and arms! I didn't want Kjerstin to feel left out so I went and marked an "X" on her forehead. She grinned! The nurses always like to come in the room when we do these things because they LOVE to see Kjerstin smile! Mom was taking pictures of Kjerstin with her phone and Kjerstin groaned at her. We figured out she doesn't want Mom taking pictures of her & sending them to people. Good luck with that Kjerstin. We all know Mom & pictures!

I also officially got broken in today! Kjerstin coughed real hard, the trach cap went flying and phlegm got all over me. Oh well. It's not the first time she has puked or spit or even peed on me. The joys of being 18 and having a baby sister! I told her I already did this with her once. This time we should be pros and raise her right! She just grinned again.

Jerimiah helped with her therapy quite a bit and they tried to throw a ball back and forth. Kjerstin couldn't do it as well as she wanted, but we told her to work on it this week and we will try again next weekend. Time to get that pitcher's arm back to work. She did watch a little softball on TV today. I can't wait until we see her on the mound pitching again!

I miss her already. I know we all do. But she will be home soon. As Mom says..... This too shall pass!

Say prayers for Mom & Dad. They are exhausted- mentally, emotionally, & physically. They are still trying to wrap their brains around this.

And, when you are having a bad day, remember, you don't have a traumatic brain injury! Take a breath, hold your head up and remember.....God has you just where he wants you!

On a fun note, we had a great road trip. We all packed in together in the car- Me, Colten, Jerimiah, Steph, Jocelyn(Kjerstin's best friend) & the 100 lb. doberman (Bella, mom's dog). Believe it or not we all got along great. I think we have a different perspective on "family time" now and how precious it is. Jocelyn stayed in Lincoln, as her dad lives there and she is helping Mom some. On the way home we had Karaoke! Yes in the car & we are all TERRIBLE singers! It was a blast! Steph didn't sing much, she just laughed at my singing and dancing! I got a ball thrown at me and stabbed with a light saber. Occasionally, my whole seat would jerk, because Jerimiah "thought" he saw a bug on it! Yes, the ball and light saber was my 29 year old brother, not my 7 year old! One would think after 29 years, he would quit torturing me, but no. He's still rotten as ever. Oh and yes, I was driving! Jerimiah had to ride because he needed to play Xbox! Yes, in the car. He rigged it up to the portable TV and then to a power device that plugged into my outlet in the car! We had wires running everywhere, but he had fun! Can't wait to go together again in a couple weeks. We will have to have the video camera this time so Kjerstin can see and hear our spectacular singing!

Please PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Kjerstin has a long, hard road ahead of her.


  1. I'll give you credit this is a good post HOWEVER I think it needs a little brother POV. I'll help you with that.

  2. Wendy, what a great writer you are I cryed, I rejoiced and I smiled. Your sister is never far from my mind and I pray everyday for all of them I know this is so hard on your parents too. You all are doing everything you should and what a close family. Stay strong.